Every Year…

It seems like with the passing of time, I continue to attempt getting this blog off the ground, but never actually put any content in it. I am hoping that this year, it will be different.

What has gone on in my recovery process?

Well, I am doing okay.
I still hear voices and I still struggle with my concentration and focus, some days way more than others.
I still have bouts of depression and crying spells.
I still have all the diagnoses and labels my care providers have given me over the years. But I am also learning to balance all of this.

If mental illness is just like any other medical illness, say, like Multiple Sclerosis (MS), you will have good days, bad days, exacerbations, possible hospital time, and flare ups. You will deal with all the crap a mental illness diagnosis brings with it, but you will also learn to deal with it. Learning to deal with it is part of what recovery is. The illness may not go away, but you can learn to manage it.

What the voices tell me is not true, unless I have hard, concrete evidence of what they are saying.
The depression lies to me and tells me I can’t do this or that, when in reality, with a plan, I am able to tackle it, at my own pace and time-frame.
PTSD freaks me out and scares me, but it is in the past. It is no longer happening.

Of course, a lot of this is much easier said than done, but focusing on recovery as opposed to the illness, you can get much accomplished.

With a disorganized mind like mine, there is much need for extra planning and scheduling, and even making a Plan B. Not much different than when you are not “mentally ill”. It just takes more effort.

In other news, I am in the process of being diagnosed by my rheumatologist. It seems like I might have some sort of auto-immune disease in addition to my fibromyalgia. Fun times!

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